This is where I talk about feelings.
Blake keeps talking about how we’re going to be married one day. And it gives me a lot of feelings. A lot of good, happy warm weird fluttery feelings. It makes me extremely happy, because I’ve always sort of seen him as the person that I would like to spend the rest of my life (or his) with. Something about him and the thought of being with him has always just seemed right.
We met around three years ago, in September while I was a sophomore. We met when I started doing color guard for the marching band. He was a tuba player. And it was around this time those years ago I started having certain feelings for him. We didn’t end up dating, though, he admitted to having the same feelings for me even then. We’ve both seemed to always have had those feelings for each other.
We’ve been best friends, and he’s always been there for me to help me through anything that was bothering me. He was the first person I trusted enough to tell about my bisexuality. He’s helped me so much through the years with getting to be able to talk to people easier. I remember at the beginning of my sophomore year, I had such a difficult time talking to people that I didn’t know. Now, I have him to thank for how much I have changed with that. I’m able to meet new people, and even be the person to approach them with no difficulty. He’s done nothing but make my life better.
In 2011, I started dating someone. I dated him for almost a year. And the entire time, Blake waited for me. He refused anyone else who asked to date him. I remember Thanksgiving in 2011, he told me that he liked me. I didn’t know what to do, because of the person I was dating. I ended up staying with the person I was dating a while longer. I’m ashamed to admit it, but even when I was dating that person, I still had feelings for Blake.
Then, in October last year, Blake and I started dating. It was the happiest I had been in a long time. When we first started dating, so many people told me congratulations. It was like the entire marching band (Blake was in it, before he moved) knew what was going on, and was watching from the sidelines. People were saying things like, “Oh my god, it’s about time,” or “I knew he liked you for a really long time but wow I didn’t think he would actually do something about those feelings.” Someone even said, “I knew it would happen. Finally. I called it three years ago.” I was so happy. It didn’t last long, though. Late November, we had to break up. His mom said that she didn’t want us dating, and that he would have to break up with me before they moved. She said it would be easier that way.
Though, nothing changed between us. We still went out together, kissed and stuff, and cuddled up and watched movies. So, I was still happy. On December 14th, he moved. That time was a bit difficult. Thanks to someone that I consider to be a best friend, Jessi, it was a bit easier for me.
Now, though, I’m happy. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I think the only word to describe what I feel for him is love. It’s only a year and five months until we’ll be able to be together again. And between that time, we have things planned to do together. I feel enthusiastic about the future, and and just happy with life. So far things in my life are going better than I ever imagined they would be, all because of this one person who literally stepped in and said, “Hey, your name is Kayla? You’re really quiet. I’m going to get you to talk to me and we’re going to be friends.”
I really hope that I don’t regret having these feelings later.